Wednesday 17 October 2007

Doppelganger

The person and the shadow
The whole lover; half friend
Death and dark destruction
Gliding on noiselss feet
Featurelessly watches the helpless
Smiling on its lips imagined
To be one you must be two.
A dark side
A light side
A black side to smudge the white side
Remember:
Your shadow is most clear when the sun shines.

Tuesday 7 August 2007

Moments On A Park Bench

I wish I'd writtten what she sings
I want you to know how I feel
It isn't always enough to whisper three words
A million kisses will help but not ring absolutely true
A thousand roses will wilt and die
But this feeling won't. This
Intoxication. Infatuation.
You had me at a smile
I think I was born for you to love me
I exist to hold you
Burns deeply. I promise.
It all fits-my hand in yours and my head on your shoulder
Comfort at last
I'm finally at peace with feeling
I found the little girl
Who confused herself and hid when it got tough
But it's a sunrise and sunset now-
Beautiful every day when it starts and finishes.

[Afterthoughts]

There's a liar in your bed
She's putting poison on your pillow [no longer smells of me]
And dropping venom on your head
She watches while you sleep.... [guardian angel fallen over]
Cruel kisses to stop contented breath
Smiling she moves nearer
Wraps a choking arm around your throat..[why can't I save you?]
And whispers not so sweetly
Goodnight, God Bless
See you in Hell..... [heaven without you]

Friday 13 July 2007

Holding Your Heart In My Hands

If the strength of love knows no bounds,
Then why do I feel so weak?
If love brings ultimate happiness,
Why do I cry when you're not here?
A soft word, gentle touch
Passionate embrace
A total eclipse
Kiss me and I'm yours; my soul always and forever branded
Lick my lips and breathe-dark-deep
Whilst living I dream of silken sleep
Laugh and devestate
Building me higher
Whisper sweet nothing
A silence for two
A sigh- glance
On earth as it is in Heaven

She'd Make A Beautiful Corpse

I have you
But you can't let go of her
I don't want both
Please set her free
So it can be just you and me.
I lie and try to believe it never happened
I know it's not so special now- it's been done before

When someone has their claws embedded
It's going to leave scars when you take them out
They're in your heart, I understand, I cope
But until she leaves your mind
You/I won't know what to think
You're in too deep
You're starting to sink
And she's holding me back
I'm afraid you have to choose
Drown in her or I rescue you
Forever.

Thursday 7 June 2007

Words Cannot Describe

Crying skies and a howling road
The warmth of you hand against the chill of the storm
If this is a nightmare, I can't imagine dreams,
If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up
Shadows lit by camera flashes
A cheek against mine
A lone violin to play forever
And a man with an umbrella that doesn't stop the rain
A child with blue eyes that reflect us
Together on a dark night
In a hushed crowd of hundreds
I only feel safe with you
And I know you feel the same
Please understand that the tears that fall
Are not caused by a mortal pain
Only a longing to lie in bliss.

The Funeral's Over

I sit and try to swallow
But you're stuck in my throat

I choke.

This is killing me- but not before I destroyed you
Understand that I only shudder
Because I hate what I've become
'Please yourself' to 'please don't touch'
This railroad car crash is not enough
I'm not sure if I'll feel fine tomorrow.
The sun never rose- since you cried.
Your tears soaked my pillow and I truly died
I'm not good; the reason behind the frowns
I wish I could make you smile, but I wouldn't know where to start
I taste you on my tongue
I feel you on my fingertips
I smell you in my hair
It takes a lightbulb and a tear drop of blood
To remind me you're not there.

Thursday 19 April 2007

Sit Still & Listen

The two men saunter past
Bright sun, loud voices and clothes
An insight into another's life
A snippet-intriguing-no more.
"...my lawyer says..."
And there it ends- a flash of a back end of a bus
Too far to hear- would it be worth it?
Something to ponder for an hour or 3
Criminal or hero? Newspaper delight
Then again another
To eavesdrop it a nasty phrase
We chance to hear
How to carry with a coffin? comes the cry
A shame; a suit for a funeral for a friend?
My mind reaches out and I feel
Not sad how many more?
Windows; the curtains shut on thsee two
Traffic interrupts a constant flow
This is city life not just one
A million to see, hear, feel
But only mine to lead.

Ears Bleed, Eyes Plead: Just What They Need

A community defying the ignorant rumours
An army- fighting fighting for acceptance but not waiting for a win
A procession; marching arm in arm
Black decadence, dyed and painted
But not fake
Hearts bleeding, broken but true
Lives lived with a sole purpose
Worship. Adoration.
Shadowed parade- smiles not frowns
A dance not to end
Strangers touch hands become torn friends
Beating in time with a sound so pure
A scream, shout, preach and give them the cure
No thoughts of blades or pills
Lights fire and smoke but not in hell tonight
A loyal dedicated heaven
Where the outcast finally belong
With one proud voice uprising in song.

Inanimate Objects Have Too Much Time On Their Hands

The red paint flakes and wheels rust
The lone trike stares; saddening solidarity
It wishes and wonders- no friends
Left in the Scottish sun
The lights change and my face
Pressed against the cold, cold glass
Moves on and I smile goodbye
The journey begins and the trike yearns
To travel too; I can tell
Another road for me
Green gold glad- a different place
But family familiar
We rumble and trundle
Bass pumping vibrating to bypass boredom
Traffic cone lyrics flash past the melody
Takes a turn
An new road- track 3 to 4
The trike never lived a life like this
I smile and sigh as the sun blesses the car with a kiss.

Monday 16 April 2007

I'm The Same Person I Was Yesterday, I'm Just Not Breathing

I gave up on this long ago
Tell me if it's really so
I can't remeber if it was real
Let me know how you truly feel

I believed this would never cause me pain
But here I am, in the pouring rain
Blank stares, hate over hearts collide
As I see you now- immortal suicide

The candle flicker, eyes as fire
You were my one secret wicked desire
Sit in the dark; don't love light
try to foget stubborn soul trys to fight

So please put me out of my misery
Because hands cut and torn are all I see
Am I blind? Was it never here?
was I dreaming? reality. My greatest fear.

A Wine Glass Half Full

A diamond bright shining light
Helps others on their way
A manicured hand outstretched
Always there to hold- a tight grip in a tight spot
A lipstick smile to pull friends up
But who touches you?
Who supports a weakened frame
And whose hand supports a dying flame?
It's your time to watch the sun
And realise as it sets
A life no longer empty lays sadness to sleep
You are a heart to keep
The cliched road may look dark
But a lonely hitch-hiker
With a smile and a samaritan driver
Can travel to his final destination
We are here and you are not alone
Thoughts hearts and minds
turn not to what you can do for them
Finally- what they can do for you.

Monday 19 March 2007

Posing To Tell The Real You & Me

A mirror, a necktie and a matching pout
Coloured wings
Angel?
The amount of times youve picked me up
The strength lasts and the loves grows.. so yes
A reflection as true as a heart
Satin white and crystal clear
Hello, goodbye, forever here
Eternally grateful
And never jealous because leaving
Has never been a real parting
I touch your arm
And a response smiles clean
Another around embrace and hold
Tightly sure two together
A time forgotten by most
Seconds move on the world surroundings
Two souls
Never. Letting. Go.

Friday 16 March 2007

HypoCritical In Hospital

One rule for them and another for
me
Why?
I will explain
Normality was never an option
Conformity cuts like a knife
I haven't had a chance to grow
The laughter creates a lifetime
That we'd rather not be in
I was comfortable with it. As if.
I don't need your approval
Stick to what you're good at
Carbon copies; catcalling clones
Poisonous puppets
No hard feelings- just lie still.

Sunday 25 February 2007

Wholly Controlling the Soul

This is a solo thing
The crowd bays for blood
Chanting my name, bones ache, hands clap.
Standing alone.
Feet apart
A silence rips through the noise.
They are still; eyes glinting.
Licking lips, cracking fingers
The spotlight; no time to hide
Nakedly pleading- shreds of mercy.
They can smell the fear
Thousands of thoughts turn to your veins
And the life within them- soon to be the lack
As they suck and bleed you dry
Throw you out the window
Your empty corpse another paper bag
On the ever changing winds of success.

Friday 9 February 2007

Lonely Hearts Play Villainous Parts In B-Movies

Whispers in the dark make ripples
Waves on a pool of invisible tears
Unseen as they're cried by the lonely
Only the mirror mage for comfort-
But the truth hurts
So it must be painful to look
Satin silence slips slowly through the night
A real bodied noise grasps faces
Loud fingers grip on brains, uninvited evil.
A chink of light through an open window
But the breeze freezes thought and lovers in their element.
Earth air fire and water
Touches exist in imaginations and the pillow smells of one
It's never the same by yourself
A smile unseen never lit a face
A laugh unheard carries on in the wind
And no-one realises who.

I'm Finger Food And You've Got An Appetite For Destruction

Walking in, you own the door
Sitting here, bite my lip and cut to shreds.
Shadows tower and consume
Hungry, jaws gape and leer,
I know what this is about,
Seduced by power, swayed by money,
But turned by violence and kept by it
Fear freezes and thaws, this is something much more
The cuts and bruises can be glossed over
But the stuff inside will never be explained
In a corner, a stairwell, a backstreet pass
I ripped apart long ago
I bled and I was sore- past tense
The pain only carries on in my head
Uncomfortably numb as you make me
Uncomfortably none.

I'm Not Going To Tell You What Happens In The End

Turn the pages of my heart
I must be so easy to read
The letters just keep flowing
Inky black tongue, dribbling rhyme
Spitting insults,
Turn me over, the blurb on my brain,
I'm dusty- lyng on this shelf,
Outdated and faded,
My arms gold leafed,
The print of my fingers left on your skin
Smile a title,
Cry an ending
Search for the lost prose,
Find the hidden meaning,
Read it and open my eyes
Close the book on lonliness
And take down a new one
It's what I've become.

Monday 22 January 2007

Evil Wears A White Dress; Hate A Lace Veil

This is a prequel to the poem Havisham by Carol Ann Duffy


Surrounded by well-wishers. Totally alone.
A white island admist a sea of black hearts and lies
They assure me, comforting words afflict great pain
Don’t touch me please, I can’t stand this

Waiting. And hoping. Swearing and cursing
Forgive me Father, please explain why
My confusion spirals up and away
Red chasing black chasing white chasing

Me. As I run far from that dreadful place
A church full of lovely hate, how I delight
In despising him; his whispers, his promises
He holds the pieces of my heart and
Closes his hands around, clasping cruelty
Never forgiven my love, I will never forget.

Wednesday 10 January 2007

Stereotypes Were Invented To Make The World Seem Less Confusing

But here's the truth:
Come a little closer
And I will whisper with my forked tongue,
And pour sulphur lies from the bottom of my black, black heart,
Sitting comfortably?
I must unravel this complicated life,
We have to escape this web of deceit,
Because the spider always has eight legs
And two faces.
One looks at what's really there,
The other blind,
Veiled lives lived undiscovered,
We can change this- voices were made to be heard
And eyes to be stared into.
Look beyond with them now and work it out.
We're clever enough to interrupt the flow,
Right now.

Thursday 4 January 2007

Skin And Blister Is Quite The Wrong Description

Wrap your arms around me,
Make everything alright,
I return all that you ever, always need.
It's a special, different, similar moment,
We'll share our love, just us; together like you asked.

Dark brown toffee waterfall,
Cascades over shoulders and back,
Big round and beautiful eyes; plead docile dear,
There's no love delicious, that you lack.

At this place and in this heart, stopped with time,
I'm still learning to love and hold onto what I do,
I know that whatever the problem- sweet nothings,
You protect me caress, delightful, from the cold.

Sentimental Or Semi-Mental?

Where is that line that I drew in the sand?
With that sharpened stick that you passed,
Into my hands and through my body.
Have I stepped over it?
Because it disappeared with you.

The waves crash and lap at my feet,
A few steps to silence,
A couple of paces to peace,
The dark cliffs leer and loom,
And I'm lost.

Little lady, I let the wind stroke me
Like you used to, oh, why not now?
Salt water stings the gashes on my face,
Eyes have become weeping sores,
Hands transformed; wrecked palaces.

I wasn't good enough for you, so
I am no help to others, no comfort to anyone else,
More salt water cascading, fill my mouth, ears, nose, eyes,
Fill my lungs,

We breathe our last.

My Mother's Mother

A powdered cheek to kiss;
And a familiar lipstick smile.
Gives love without words,
Your open, delighted face is worth one thousand.
Trivialities, trials and tribulations
Never show on the outside,
Only happiness and care
Can radiate from those deep soul eyes.
Hands to hold are gnarled with age,
But the imprint of my palm,
Forever burnt onto yours.
As I’ve grown, so has your ability,
To smile and laugh and love;
Lifelong, lived, light-hearted,
Lavender coloured and scented,
A centrepiece of the family,
A masterful masterpiece,
Delightfully delirious with
Wonderful wisdom