I'm The Same Person I Was Yesterday, I'm Just Not Breathing

I gave up on this long ago
Tell me if it's really so
I can't remeber if it was real
Let me know how you truly feel

I believed this would never cause me pain
But here I am, in the pouring rain
Blank stares, hate over hearts collide
As I see you now- immortal suicide

The candle flicker, eyes as fire
You were my one secret wicked desire
Sit in the dark; don't love light
try to foget stubborn soul trys to fight

So please put me out of my misery
Because hands cut and torn are all I see
Am I blind? Was it never here?
was I dreaming? reality. My greatest fear.

A Wine Glass Half Full

A diamond bright shining light
Helps others on their way
A manicured hand outstretched
Always there to hold- a tight grip in a tight spot
A lipstick smile to pull friends up
But who touches you?
Who supports a weakened frame
And whose hand supports a dying flame?
It's your time to watch the sun
And realise as it sets
A life no longer empty lays sadness to sleep
You are a heart to keep
The cliched road may look dark
But a lonely hitch-hiker
With a smile and a samaritan driver
Can travel to his final destination
We are here and you are not alone
Thoughts hearts and minds
turn not to what you can do for them
Finally- what they can do for you.

Posing To Tell The Real You & Me

A mirror, a necktie and a matching pout
Coloured wings
Angel?
The amount of times youve picked me up
The strength lasts and the loves grows.. so yes
A reflection as true as a heart
Satin white and crystal clear
Hello, goodbye, forever here
Eternally grateful
And never jealous because leaving
Has never been a real parting
I touch your arm
And a response smiles clean
Another around embrace and hold
Tightly sure two together
A time forgotten by most
Seconds move on the world surroundings
Two souls
Never. Letting. Go.

HypoCritical In Hospital

One rule for them and another for
me
Why?
I will explain
Normality was never an option
Conformity cuts like a knife
I haven't had a chance to grow
The laughter creates a lifetime
That we'd rather not be in
I was comfortable with it. As if.
I don't need your approval
Stick to what you're good at
Carbon copies; catcalling clones
Poisonous puppets
No hard feelings- just lie still.

Wholly Controlling the Soul

This is a solo thing
The crowd bays for blood
Chanting my name, bones ache, hands clap.
Standing alone.
Feet apart
A silence rips through the noise.
They are still; eyes glinting.
Licking lips, cracking fingers
The spotlight; no time to hide
Nakedly pleading- shreds of mercy.
They can smell the fear
Thousands of thoughts turn to your veins
And the life within them- soon to be the lack
As they suck and bleed you dry
Throw you out the window
Your empty corpse another paper bag
On the ever changing winds of success.

Lonely Hearts Play Villainous Parts In B-Movies

Whispers in the dark make ripples
Waves on a pool of invisible tears
Unseen as they're cried by the lonely
Only the mirror mage for comfort-
But the truth hurts
So it must be painful to look
Satin silence slips slowly through the night
A real bodied noise grasps faces
Loud fingers grip on brains, uninvited evil.
A chink of light through an open window
But the breeze freezes thought and lovers in their element.
Earth air fire and water
Touches exist in imaginations and the pillow smells of one
It's never the same by yourself
A smile unseen never lit a face
A laugh unheard carries on in the wind
And no-one realises who.

I'm Finger Food And You've Got An Appetite For Destruction

Walking in, you own the door
Sitting here, bite my lip and cut to shreds.
Shadows tower and consume
Hungry, jaws gape and leer,
I know what this is about,
Seduced by power, swayed by money,
But turned by violence and kept by it
Fear freezes and thaws, this is something much more
The cuts and bruises can be glossed over
But the stuff inside will never be explained
In a corner, a stairwell, a backstreet pass
I ripped apart long ago
I bled and I was sore- past tense
The pain only carries on in my head
Uncomfortably numb as you make me
Uncomfortably none.

I'm Not Going To Tell You What Happens In The End

Turn the pages of my heart
I must be so easy to read
The letters just keep flowing
Inky black tongue, dribbling rhyme
Spitting insults,
Turn me over, the blurb on my brain,
I'm dusty- lyng on this shelf,
Outdated and faded,
My arms gold leafed,
The print of my fingers left on your skin
Smile a title,
Cry an ending
Search for the lost prose,
Find the hidden meaning,
Read it and open my eyes
Close the book on lonliness
And take down a new one
It's what I've become.

Evil Wears A White Dress; Hate A Lace Veil

This is a prequel to the poem Havisham by Carol Ann Duffy


Surrounded by well-wishers. Totally alone.
A white island admist a sea of black hearts and lies
They assure me, comforting words afflict great pain
Don’t touch me please, I can’t stand this

Waiting. And hoping. Swearing and cursing
Forgive me Father, please explain why
My confusion spirals up and away
Red chasing black chasing white chasing

Me. As I run far from that dreadful place
A church full of lovely hate, how I delight
In despising him; his whispers, his promises
He holds the pieces of my heart and
Closes his hands around, clasping cruelty
Never forgiven my love, I will never forget.

Stereotypes Were Invented To Make The World Seem Less Confusing

But here's the truth:
Come a little closer
And I will whisper with my forked tongue,
And pour sulphur lies from the bottom of my black, black heart,
Sitting comfortably?
I must unravel this complicated life,
We have to escape this web of deceit,
Because the spider always has eight legs
And two faces.
One looks at what's really there,
The other blind,
Veiled lives lived undiscovered,
We can change this- voices were made to be heard
And eyes to be stared into.
Look beyond with them now and work it out.
We're clever enough to interrupt the flow,
Right now.